Thanksgiving!

I meant to get this up last week but I just kept gathering more and more amazing recipes and couldn’t justify posting it until I got every last bit of Paleo Thanksgiving goodness packed into one post. So that’s what … Continue reading

Guest Post from Steve Blais

Introducing our first guest post from none other than Steve Blais himself, if you aren’t familiar with this character he is the manger at Ocean State Cross Fit, quite the cook and a great success story so I thought you would all enjoy!

Well hello there! Our 3rd favorite Paleo blogger has asked me to write a special guest post for her, and I was more than happy to oblige.

I’m not sure how good a decision it was to ask me to write a guest column, considering my penchant for whiskey and shenanigans, but I’m also a pretty okay success story when it comes to eating properly…

I realize and agree that the blatant selfie should include WAY MORE duckface, but let’s be honest, the 50 lbs lost by following the Paleo diet went a long way from December 2011 to August 2012.  And yes, I totally have a poof thingy in my shower.  I like to exfoliate – deal with it.

So how did I do it? How did I dig myself out of the black hole of despair and stop being, as an ex called it, 7 months pregnant? Easy.

I got sick of being winded walking up stairs.  I, for once, wanted to take pride in myself.  And really, I wanted to look way better and piss off the aforementioned ex (totally worked by the way.  Vengeance ftw.)

So I stopped having donuts for breakfast, and decided to try eggs instead.  I still don’t like eggs, it turns out.  They smell yucky.  But it got me thinking – how do I balance out the most important meal of the day? I hadn’t ever thought about that before.  So I started researching.  By which I mean I started throwing stuff into a blender and seeing what tasted good.  Trial and error led me to the discovery that almond milk, liquid egg whites, almond butter, and a banana are pretty amazing together.  And a few days a week, I have that for breakfast.  With a coffee.  Because coffee is my homeboy.

But that got me to thinking – if I can address breakfast this easily, why not start looking at other meals? Good frickin’ question.  So I did.  And it turns out, it’s simple to do.  I’m a pretty decent cook, I think (I’m an amazing cook, but I don’t like to brag), so I tweaked recipes here and there, bought a slow cooker, and went cuckoo bananas in my culinary delights.  And here is my favorite recipe by far.

BBQ Beef Short Ribs

Ingredients:

3lbs Beef Short Ribs (grass fed = happy friends and family)

1 red onion

1 white onion

1 orange

1 bottle of Tessamae’s Paleo BBQ Sauce

½ tsp salt

½ tsp black pepper

Take that orange, cut that bad boy in half, and put it in the bottom of your slow cooker.

Those onions? Chop that shit, baby.  We’re making dreams happen, and you want them to be delicious and junk.

Season your meat with salt and pepper.  Pretend you’re on Top Chef or one of those other crazy ass cooking shows – no one wants to stand in front of the judges and hear all about how you screwed up and under-seasoned your meat. We’re not Communists.  Get your shit together, man.

Put your meat into the slow cooker; grab your BBQ sauce, and dump that bad boy on top of the beef ribs.

Want to make your sauce taste spicier? Add some cayenne pepper to it before you dump it.

Want it sweeter? Chop up some pineapple or an apple, throw the fruit and contents of your sauce into a blender, and mix it, baby.

After you’ve added the sauce, turn the slow cooker onto High for 6-8 hours, or Low for 8-10.  Serve, enjoy, and if there’s anything left, bring me some.

Hope you enjoyed my insane ramblings.  Maybe we can do this again sometime.  Thank you.  God bless you, and God Bless America.

Meeting PALEOMG! & Steak Tips!

So…. today when I was walking into work I was doing my everyday routine of picking dog hair off my sweater and boom what do I find? a pink thong from the wash stuck to the side of my sweater. Great way to start the day, hey at least it was clean I guess.

I have officially purchased a domain name and once I figure out how to design a killer website this yittle blog will become legit. I figure enough people don’t absolutely hate to read my rants so I mineswell make it official! Also, I will be featuring some exciting guest posts coming soon so if your already sick of hearing from me then you’ll totally love the next blog post!

Anyways, on to my exciting weekend, I attended a cooking class with Juli of Paleomg!! She’s my favorite paleo blogger and shes quirky and makes great food, whats not to love? We made some pancakes and took some pictures and I loved every minute of it! Did I mention I want to be her one day? A girl can dream right?

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As a treat since its almost Halloween I’m going to share a recipe that literally has nothing to do with Halloween because no matter what treat I post your still going to get hyfee on store bought deliciousness like butterfingers and laffy taffy. Those may or may not be what I bought for the trick-or-treater’s and have already partially consumed. #faileo

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I swear some day soon I’ll get better at taking pictures that look appetizing I usually just attack the food right after its done so getting any picture at all is an accomplishment.

Steak Tip Marinade

Ingredients:

2-3 lbs steak tips

1/4 cup honey

1/4 cup maple syrup (optional)

2/3 cup coconut aminos

2 garlic cloves chopped

1 tbs crushed red pepper

salt and pepper to taste

Directions:

1. Place steak tips in a big ziplock bag for marinating.

2. Pour all ingredients in said bag, place in fridge and let marinate at least 8 hours, overnight is preferable.

3. Take out of bag and grill and consume while marveling at how amazing they are.

Recipe Round-up

A whole post devoted to my favorite recipes?? YOU DON’T SAY! These are my go-to kid tested Kayleo approved favorites minus the whole kid thing since I don’t really have any kids handy  and I’m not sure I know any worthy of the greatness that these recipes will bestow on your palate. Let’s start off with everyone’s favorite category: BUFFALO CHICKEN!!! nuggets, pasta and meatloaf cant really get any more old school than these bad boys.

Buffalo Chicken Pasta, this recipe is fabulous and although it calls for making your own mayo which some people may view as daunting there is one trick that will save you ridiculous amounts of time and frustration, buy an immersion stick blender! Pretty cheap, pretty life changing and if your lucky you can do what I did and just steal it from your mom because she really doesn’t have any use for it anyway! 

Buffalo Chicken Nuggets, Unlike fast food nuggets you wont find any weird, creepy bones in these nuggeys, just pure healthy deliciousness. and there’s even a dairy free ranch recipe at the bottom of this link that I advocate all the way. I made a batch and then proceeded to smother everything in sight with it for the next 2 days. Totally. worth. it. 

Buffalo Chicken Meatloaf,  This recipe is one of my original paleo buffalo loves and I always double it because one is never enough, this will convince even the most solid non believers to come over to the dark side.

Next category, MEATBALLS!!!! Who doesn’t love these? I cant resist em’ and I usually can’t even remotely try to stop eating them. Especially when made bite sized, there’s just something about small food that makes me unable to apply the breaks. The possibilities are ENDLESS!!!!

Turkey Meatballs with Spiced Apple Chutney

Italian Meatballs

Turkey Basil Artichoke Meatballs

Avocado Stuffed Meatballs

Curry Meatballs

I also advocate making cauliflower rice with any of these especially the curry ones. 

and now onto pulled meats, one of my personal favorite things to make because its crazy easy to just throw a hunk of meat in the crock pot and arrive home to the smells of tender meaty goodness instead of the usual scent of bulldog drool (YUM!). 

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if only this post had scratch and sniff.

Barbacoa, Made this one last night and tried to sneak all the leftovers with me to work to my dismay this plan was thwarted. 

Spicy Skillet Pulled Pork, discovered this one last time I did whole 30 and it was another one I doubled the recipe of so I could hoard for several days of delicious lunch and dinners. 

Breakfast Foods, who doesn’t love a good, solid meat-brick of a breakfast? Usually its bacon and eggs but if you want to get creative or have no time in the morning and need to make ahead these are perfect for you.

Buffalo Chicken Egg Muffins

Meat Crust Quiche

Crock Pot Breakfast Pie

and most of these call for breakfast sausage which you can easily make yourself with this recipe, breakfast sausage

 

And last but certainty not least, ever been to Ted’s Montana Grille and spend a boatload of money on the best bison burgers you’ve ever had? Yep, me too. and then I discovered these, sage bison burgers with balsamic bacon apple chutney, thus forever changing my life for the better. That’s a little dramatic but you get the point. 

 

 
 
 
 
 

 

Tis’ the Season for Caramel Apple Pancakes!

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Although I am a pancake advocate I’m not as much an enthusiast as Pete, who has informed me that I should be writing for the masses and introduce him properly on my blog. So for the .5% of people who read this and aren’t familiar with my life, Pete is my boyfriend who is a full time crossfit trainer at OSCF/ part time pancake whore. He is coaching our gym paleo challenge and decided to also participate so he can feel our pain which makes my life a bit easier and less tempting. His only complaint is lack of pancakes so Sunday I constructed these fine specimens from PALEOMG and was pretty delighted at the results. They were a little sweet for me so I only had half my stack but they didn’t go to waste because they were happily consumed by Pete as his dinner. The “caramel” used on this was amazzzzing and totally going to be used to make another great fall recipe for our tailgate on Sunday. I will post the recipe to that monday-ish, I am pretty excited and came up with this idea on my own for once, I know crazy right!? You didn’t even know I had it in me but BOOM it’ll blow your mind.

Caramel Apple Pancakes Recipe

Speaking of blowing your mind yesterday we were spiraling some noodles for zucchini pasta and Pete decided to spiral a sweet potato, sounds innocent enough right? WELL then he put it in oven and baked and crisped those babies up with a little avocado oil and holllly good god they were beyond good, think curly fries soft yet crunchy. I managed to snap a picture before we devoured them but they did not last long and I pretty much know I need them in my life for at least the next 3-6 days…. cue me just disappearing and people finding me in a pile of curly sweet potatoes just growling  at anyone that comes near me…. its all together too possible.

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Lazy Kayleo

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So…. sometimes life gets in the way of cooking a gourmet meal and by that I mean I just had to get my hair done last night and opted out of that whole cooking thing. What did I do instead you ask? head straight to Wendy’s to scarf down a Junior Bacon cheeseburger? In my own fantasy I was elbow deep in that thing but instead I took the responsible route and picked up some Paleo Naturals soup at my box after my workout.  Which by the way included some of my most loathed movements, pullups (GAH), heavy thrusters (GHEW), burpees (KILL ME NOW).

Needless to say I wanted some nourishment so I opted for 3 meat chili and picked up another container of beef stew for lunch just to further add to my laziness. Since I was in such a rush to inhale the chili, I did not take a picture but it was your standard chunky chili pretty tasty although I typically prefer my chili to be thick and have minimal veggies. Overall I have been impressed with Paleo Naturals offerings although I do tend to get a little too wild when I buy a bag of mini muffins. They are almost always sold out so when I see there are some in the cooler before my workout I buy them immediately and then proceed to scarf 2 before I even realize it and end up dragging ass in the workout. Then I see there are only 2 left and resolve to just eat those because whats the point of taking it home now?! and then the whole point of buying a snack to save for later is ruined and I am 4 muffins fatter, story of my life.

I may continue this soup bender with some homemade bone broth, “creepy broth” if you will. I have been doling it out to my sick paleo challenge teammates and they seem to feel better with it so hopefully it can help me kick this nasty cold that came out of nowhere. It’s apparently pretty magical and easy enough to make you literally “set it and forget it!!” just like the cheesy infomercials would say. I made mine with the recipe from Balanced Bites website. So if your feeling like your going to get sick or if you got the flu shot then got the flu like I did one year make yourself some creepy broth and be back to scarfing muffins in no time.

http://balancedbites.com/2011/04/easy-recipe-mineral-rich-bone-broth.html

Meatlog

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I’d like to formally introduce myself to the blogosphere with my first entry on the prestigious meat log. I am two weeks into the paleo challenge and feeling like I want to stick my face into a cake. I’ve been forced to get a little creative when attending gatherings and found myself unable to consume spirits to get myself through a family party and had to turn to bacon, natural progression I’d say.
Enter meat log. delicious layer upon layer of pork. I can’t take the credit for coming up with this or even cooking it as it was Ray who originally cooked it and Pete who decided to recreate it. It was a pretty fantastic pile of meat and the family agreed, it was a hit and now we know that’s our go to meal to get the people goin’. It almost distracted me from the half eaten Greg’s birthday cake my sister decided to grace us with and I say almost because I may or may not have smelled it intensely for a few minutes to make me felt like i ate it. 
Also cooked up a nice epic fail by trying to dehydrate watermelon in hopes of watermelon candy. Apparently you cant believe everything you find on the interwebs because I got excited about nothing and was failed miserably by this experiment and wasted an entire watermelon in the process. 
Meat log Recipe:
1 Pork loin
1 Pkg bacon
1 package sweet Italian sausage
1 green apple, diced
1 tomato, diced
Directions: 
1.  Set oven to 350. Basket weave together the bacon on the counter, set aside.
2. Put saran wrap around pork loin and pound out until thin.
3. Mix together stuffing, take sausage out of casings if necessary.
4. Stuff loin with stuffing and drape weave over.
5. Put in pan and into oven, leave in for about 30 mins or until internal temperature reaches 170.
6. Once internal temp is reached, broil for a few minutes to crisp up bacon and enjoy!
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